If you want staff to listen, then ask them if they are interested BEFORE you dive in and offer your advice.
This is a technique that all coaches use to show respect and build rapport and trust.
In your own words, try saying something like:
I’ve got some experience with that. Would you like me to share some insights I’ve discovered?
You’ll find that 99% of the time they will say “Yes” and then you know they are really listening. Asking permission builds respect. Just make sure you then put the focus back onto them.!
Far too many times I see managers so eager to “help” staff that they bound right in and virtually take over the conversation, sharing their own experiences and strategies. If the manager could see the thought bubble over the staff members head it would be saying “Hey, this conversation was supposed to be about Me not YOU!”
Why do we do that? Why are we so keen to show that we know what they are talking about? I think it has a lot to do with us wanting to feel that we are still the boss, that we know more, have experienced more, and have worked it out.
But you will find that staff actually respect managers more when the manager is contemplative and says:
“That is interesting. Tell me more about that. What was that like for you?”
and then asks if the staff member would like to hear how you handled a similar situation.
